Monday, August 3, 2009

Ruminating on kindergarten

So I have an app on my iphone that lists sexual offenders in my area. And I noticed a name on the list that I knew, and lo and behold it was a guy that I went to Kindergarten with who moved after that year. I won't give any names, but apparently he made the list for a sexual assault. He was a part of one of the early events in my life that had a real affect on my personality and growth. When I was in kindergarten we had to eat lunch next to whoever we were in the line next to and everyday a different student go to lead the line. That student got to choose the person who was in line behind him. When it was this persons turn to lead the line he chose me. Now this person came from a very poor and backwards family, which I later found out didn't even have running water. So to put it bluntly he smelled horrible. Also he had a terrible speech impediment and I couldn't understand a word he said. When he called my name, my eye brows rose and the teacher saw my reaction. My reaction was because I was nervous about sitting next to him because I didn't like having to constantly ask him what he was saying, and really just guessing even when I asked him several times, but the teacher thought the reaction was because of his smell. The teacher told the student, right in from of the class, that perhaps he should choose someone else because I had a weak stomach for smells and because he smelled so bad that I wouldn't be able to eat lunch. When she did this even at that age I was floored that a teacher, someone who was supposed to be in charge would so something like that. I felt so horrible for him, and if it had happened a couple years later, being the verbose child that I was, and also largely uncaring of the consequences of what I said, I would have called her out on it. At the time I just felt horrible, sick to my stomach for the poor kid, who really didn't have much of a chance as it was. This event I am somewhat sad to say made me contemptuous of authority and of teachers in particular and I never forgot that event. I never once in my life looked down on someone in school purely because they were less fortunate financially than I was, and for that fact I am grateful, I feel it made me a better person. But when I saw that name on that sexual offender list it made me think about what might have been if I had stood up for him. Maybe an act of kindness by a six year old could have been enough to steer him from the path that he ended up taking. Perhaps not, but it might have made a difference. I am not beating myself up over it, but it was a situation that when I look back on now, might have made a difference in someones life. Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it?

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