I realized something this semester

I was sitting in class during my last semester of courses here at Good Ole Astate, finishing up my Masters in History and I had a revelation of sorts. Actually the revelation came from two of my classes, not just one, but I happened to be sitting in my Early Christianity class when the idea really started to form. I have, for a good part of my life, always wanted to be involved in academia. I am interested in a wide variety of academic interests, such as folklore, literature, and history. The beginning of my unrest this semester came while sitting in my documentary class with Dr. Wilkerson-Freeman. She fancies herself a film maker, and we were having a discussion and she said no one else was really doing movies like she was at Astate where I mentioned a folklore professor who had made documentaries, has a background in media, and actually published in the area and she said that didn't count because he was a folklorist and that historians can make movies because they follow the facts, but a folklorist can't and their work is inferior. She went on to say a person with a PhD in folklore can't make a factual documentary because only historians have the background to do that. It was really ridiculous honestly, and it bothered me because I really consider folklore to be more of my passion than history. In one of my not so great moments I decided to inform her that history was a rather distant second for my choice in masters degrees and I only chose it because Astate didn't have a folklore masters, and that I was accepted to a M.A. in folklore program, but only came back to Astate because my mother was ill. I admit not a good thing to tell a professor, but it was one of the few times lately that I have really lost my temper. What I really got from this conversation some days later was a realization that this sort of bickering was truly inconsequential and really doesn't matter to life, and sparing tremendous amounts of energy to it does nothing to better this world. Apparently this is the sort of thing that goes on in academics, which ends up with people focusing on lots of things that really don't matter without ever really doing anything. This brings me back to my Early Christianity class. Dr. Popst was lecturing, and this is by no means a bad reflection of her as she is a very dear and caring lady, but she was going on and on about some little detail in the text. It was something very small, and I won't bore you all with the details as it is only pertinent to hard core historians. However, she was going on about how the details like this are the most important to historians and what the focus should be on, etc, etc. I realized that it didn't matter. It didn't matter one little bit. With the economy bad, and crime, torture, and death the world over these little details, that she had poured hours into were inconsequential. They were of interest and importance to very few people, and would have been inconsequential to even someone of moderate to heavy interest in the subject matter. It was that moment that I discovered that continuing my education in history was not something I wanted to do. A life of publishing papers on minuscule details in history that do nothing to better anybody, and are just hours of my life spent studying something that affects nothing in today's world is a waste of what God had gifted me with. I have never been called modest, and have often been called arrogant, but I know I am gifted and that I will be good at what I choose to do. Should I waste it applying it all to something that does nothing to live the world a better place than I entered? No, the answer is no. I decided right then and there I wanted to do something that at least made life better for someone, somewhere, and it was right then that I made up my mind that I was going to Law School. Not to be some defense attorney and make lots of money, but to work doing things that made my community a better place. It was Law I decided that was the best place for my particular skill set and abilities. In another one of my not so great moments, Dr. Wilkerson-Freeman had discovered that I was going to Law School instead of going on in history, and she said that when she was in college her professors had wanted to go to Law School but she wanted to do something that was more challenging academically, I responded that I had wanted to be a college professor but I decided I wanted to do something that made a difference. Not my best moment, but I have never really known so one to go that far out of their way to try and push my buttons, I still got an A in the class though.